Ask not what my job is but what I am

When we meet new people, we tend to ask "So, what do you do?". Sometimes we do it because we are curious but mostly we do it simply to make conversation. Or when we meet our friends and acquaintances, we often start by asking "So, how's work?" Personally, I'm getting fed up with this line.

It immediately frames the conversation to an often narrow perspective that is purely work-related. I get why we do it and I do it myself all the time - but we are other things than work. I should hope!

I'd much rather that people ask me what my interests are, whether I have an opinion on subject x, if I've read any good books lately, what I had for dinner last night, or what generally engages me for the time being. I'm pretty sure we would have much more vivid and interesting conversations.

One of my old friends always asks "So, how is your soul doing?" For many years I felt it was so corny to ask something like that but I've come to appreciate it. It's an open question that encourages us to reflect, think a bit, feel in the stomach, and yet allows any answer what so ever, be it small talk or big talk.

I'm going to try to ask less about people's jobs and more about what their interests are and what fills their lives. Sometimes there's an overlap between job and interests which is fantastic. Sometimes there isn't and that's fantastic, too. I think we can get into more fruitful conversations if The Job isn't always the starting point.